A gay 10th-grader killed himself this weekend after complaining about bullying at his school on the Internet, where he made a last blog post tagged as “suicide note.”
Jamie Hubley, 15, was out to friends and family in Ottawa, Canada. He had been taking antidepressants and was trying to get professional help. But on Friday, he updated his Tumblr blog for the last time and said his goodbye, before being found dead on Saturday, according to the Ottawa Citizen.
“It’s so hard,” Hubley wrote. “I’m sorry, I can’t take it anymore.”
Hubley’s death follows closely behind that of Jamey Rodemeyer, the 14-year-old student who had also written about life at school on the Internet. Groups such as the Trevor Project, which offers help to teens thinking about suicide via its Lifeline at (866) 488-7366, had worried that Rodemeyer’s high-profile passing could trigger a series of suicides called a “suicide contagion.” Hubley never wrote about Rodemeyer. But he spoke candidly about his own depression.
Hubley described having a problem with cutting that left his arms scarred, and he praised his parents in his final note but said he couldn’t wait the three years before he’d graduate from high school.
“People said ‘it gets better,’” Hubley wrote, likely having seen the video campaign meant to encourage kids to outlast bullying. “It’s fucking bullshit.”
Rodemeyer had also seen the It Gets Better videos, having even made one himself, but he hanged himself from the family swing set when it seemed bullying at school was endless.
Hubley said he was seeing a psychologist, was on medication, but his problems didn’t disappear. He talked more frequently about feeling ostracized and alone than being bullied.
“I hate being the only open gay guy in my school,” he had written earlier. “It fucking sucks, I really want to end it. Like all of it.”
But he was certainly bullied.
“Being open does not help at all,” he wrote before the school year started. “Yeah, someone will call me a fag. But one after the other, after the other … I can tell on them … Yeah. But they don’t give a shit. They’ll come back after their suspension (fun day at home, free day at school) and continue calling me a faggot. I’m not ready.”